O.k. it's confession time. I must admit I have not been very productive lately. Perhaps, because I have been focusing on a community arts venture. However, I'd say I've been generally less productive the past few years. For a long time I felt like I had artist's block. I had ideas now and then which I pursued, but most of the ideas I thought of did not really appeal to me and I would not paint them at all. I think a lot of it had to do with work. Working a regular job is a great way for an artist to lose creativity very fast. I'm always in awe of artists who are lawyers, teachers, truck drivers you name it and can balance both so easily. For me it's always been like juggling molotov cocktails.
Also maturing as a human being means you mature as an artist and the things I thought were cool and hip at 25 aren't as cool at 35. Some things I used to be interested in I don't feel as strongly about such as "gasp" pop art!. I mean I still like it , but I dont think pop art completely defines what I do. So what is it I do? That's a good question. It's a question I began to ask myself month after month and it really stifled my production even more. What is it I am trying to say? Should I say anything?
It's pretty clear when your younger what you want to do and what you like and you know who you are, but as you get older things change and you begin to wonder what your purpose is in life. Thankfully, I've reached the point where I've re-examined myself and filled in most of those questions again for the next 5 or 10 years at least. I also came across a great quote recently by the author Raymond Chandler to help me with any future artist blocks. Chandler's the guy that wrote a lot of those hardboiled Philip Marlowe detective novels which later were turned in to Humphrey Bogart films. he said. "The more you reason the less you create" and he was absolutely right. Art doesn't always have to be a big philosophical question, often it's just about playing around on canvas and seeing what comes out. I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I am painting. hopefully, tomorrow.
